Saying goodbye to Aotearoa

and gratitude for so many years of adventure!

I remember my days standing at my desk staring out the window in a corporate office and dreaming of a more adventurous life; I was willing to let go of the security, wealth and prestige offered by a career in the tech industry because staying put felt like giving up on life to me at the time. I started out in that world at the age of 18 (fortunate to takeoff so early in life some would say) and by the time I got to 23 I wondered if the rest of my life would be on the middle class treadmill. It seemed out of place to wish for something else when I had been given what so many others would kill for (I didn’t even have to go to university!). Despite my best efforts, I could find no other path in life and those dreaded days I look back on at that standing desk were five years into my search for freedom. Funny how some people struggle to find their way into the industry and I struggled to find a way out.

It’s not actually that hard to make the leap, but the fear is paralyzing. As a friend and mentor once put it: You have to jump out the window and hope there’s a trampoline below, but you won’t know until you jump. I spent a lot of time leaning out the window trying to get a glimpse of what lay below, but it has only been the the past three years that I have lived the life I always dreamed of.

If I were standing in that office today and reading this post, I would demand to know how I managed to make it work. The answer for me is not glorious, it involved help from family, the government and student loans. Work I have found has not paid well nor lasted long. Everyone’s journey is different, the key is working up the faith to make the leap and seeing what happens. It means walking the walk rather than just talking the talk when it comes to living with less material means and greater risk. The way this is done varies depending on each individual and their circumstances, but I now meet other people who have made similar leaps all the time. I had to make the decision and jump out the window hoping for a trampoline below but not knowing if it was there, that seems to be the only way it works.

Over the past three years, I have traveled to more places than I can count, mostly around Europe. However, today marks the end of my second visit to Aotearoa New Zealand. My travels are not luxurious, I choose to live a simple life and travel in search of natural and cultural experiences rather than what people typically go for when on holiday. I no longer think there is a ‘right’ way to live your life, it just depends what lets you sleep at night. I never dreamed I would actually visit New Zealand, let alone twice, let alone as a visiting writer, back when I was at that standing desk. My only experiences abroad had been a family holiday to France and some work trips to London. I didn’t know where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do, but staring at a computer all day testing software was not the life for me and I was after anything else.

So I’ve had the privilege of a tech career and also the privilege of a life of freedom and travel. What I didn’t expect was that even in the life of adventure I have enjoyed the past few years, there have been new lessons to learn. For me, it has been searching for meaning and purpose in life. Some would call that work, and they have a point. Getting everything I wanted without having to work led me to excess and the depths of alcoholism and spiritual despair.

Thankfully, I have found sobriety, a personal relationship with a power greater than myself, a community of fellow people in recovery and a return to writing as a vocation with a new sense of purpose and service. I’m only a few months in to this new chapter of my life, so it’s impossible to say whether it is the beginning of what I believe is more like the third book of my life rather than merely a chapter. The first being my youth and entry into career life, the second my search for meaning and escape to freedom (see what I did there?) and now a life of service and gratitude.

This post was meant to be the final installment of my Aotearoa travelogue, but the truth is that while I have had a phenomenal time ‘down under,’ seen some wonderful places and met interesting people, I feel like my desire for adventure back at that standing desk has now been fulfilled - and writing about that shift is more important to me than sharing the details of my trip. I’m no longer interested in traveling solely for the new adventure it offers. The only future travel I have planned is to see family and friends.

My track record of new years resolutions is not so great, but for what it’s worth I see the next year (and beyond) being focused on producing some travel books that share photos, stories and reflections along with some tips from my many experiences abroad. I want to share the beauty and richness of the world with people and hope that doing so might be a way for me to offer a humble gift to others.

Thanks for joining me on this blog journey over the past year and a half. I plan to continue posting, but will probably be more focused on bigger projects and devote my blogging to updates on the progress of those projects rather than the travelogue and editorial writing I have been sharing thus far.