Rewind three years, back to when dolphins returned to Venice and people in China and India could see the mountains, sky and sun clearly for the first time in their lives. Those unexpected days when oil companies ran out of places to store their crud and ended up having to pay other people $14 per barrel to take the blood off their hands. We fixed the problem practically overnight. Indeed we were capable people, it almost seemed easy. Job done, let’s keep the good policies going, eh?
What’s that? Global economic collapse you say? Oh shit, well we can’t have that. Get the planes, trains and automobiles going again, let’s move around and keep the money flowing. Surely economic collapse would be worse than anything the climate could bring, at least in our lifetimes.
One day that won’t be the case. That’ll be the day things change. Between now and then, we’re like sweaty gym shorts not quite ready for the wash. Sticky, smelly, uncomfortable, but still in motion.
AND THEN WE CALL THE MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE, BUT MISDIALED AND…Please hold, your call is important to us because we’ve assigned a value to your business and don’t want to lose it. Your call will be answered by the next available person among the 719 million people who live on less than $2.15 per day. People who don’t have enough money to have a carbon footprint. The people who we exploit in order to make nice things for you.
Please hold, it’s ok to live the way you do, you know nothing is your fault, this is a systemic problem that requires systemic solutions. We know you slaughtered all the politicians who suggested these, but there are lots more lined up and maybe people will start voting for them.
Please hold, would you like to buy some carbon offsets? Not sure what they do, deer ate most of the trees I planted last year, but hey, who’s counting? There are no nuclear power plants in Iceland, but a percentage of Icelanders’ electricity is attributed to nuclear sources. How’d they pull off that magic trick? Carbon credits, trading, offsetting, can I interest you in joining the dance?
Please hold, we can’t just stop. I mean, I know we did earlier, but just forget that, ok? I mean, look at the fancy phone you’ve called us on? That’s a nice phone, I bet it has some fun apps on it too! Maybe the data centers running all those apps are powered by solar rays and only drink one river per year. That’s not so bad, is it? There are a lot of rivers!
Please hold, there’s no need to get upset. What good will that do? Look at the bright side, you get to experience living on a world with a whole new climate! Lucky you!
Please hold, there’s nothing else you could do anyways.
Please hold on to your neighbor, they are losing their minds over this madness.
Please hold on to your mouth, because you’ve got a good singing voice and it makes Michael smile whenever he hears it. His mum says he never smiles anymore.
Please hold on to your furniture, it’s not that fancy but it works well and could last generations.
Please hold on to your nearest tree, it’s not sure you even notice it. It’s not sure you care, a hug once in a while would do you both some good.
Please hold on to those obnoxious kids in the alley, they’re in even more despair than you and they have nowhere safe to sleep.
Please hold on on to your Bible, or whatever book inspires you, read those stories and share them, because there is still reason to celebrate no matter how dark it gets.
Please hold on to your pen, because you’ve got a story people need to hear and why haven’t you written it yet?
Please hold on to your heart, your love for those living in this life and the next, it has been and remains all we need.
Please hold on.