Peace at Sea

We may not agree, but at least we get along

After many years of contempt prior to investigation, I went on my first cruise earlier this year. To my surprise, I liked it so much that I decided to go on another one. I’m now aboard the Volendam with Holland America Line sailing to Iceland from Boston. While there are many things I enjoy about cruising, one of the unexpected delights is the friendly coexistence of people with vastly differing opinions and ideologies. It’s the only place I’ve ever been that brings people from all corners of the United States (as well as other places) together. For the duration, we share a common home. Rather than erupt into chaos as one might expect the inevitable conclusion of mixing people with opposing beliefs in close quarters to be, there is an unwritten rule: “While we’re here, we’re all friends.”

America needs more of this, not just because it would be nice, but because the alternative is a civilization lost. When I lived in the UK during the prolonged Brexit ordeal, I went to a talk with representatives from various EU countries and I’ll never forget one thing a panelist said: “For all our disagreements, Europeans must remember the EU was formed with the hope that we would stop going to war with each other.” Peace. For all the disagreements and crisis that the United States is facing, we enjoy a level of peace that is easy to take for granted. During my lifetime, while we have suffered terrorist attacks, we have never been at war on American soil.

We live in a young country that only found its way out of Civil War 159 years ago. Yet, stories of the bloodshed are not passed down and the conflict rests not in our memories or family discussions, but only on the pages of history books. Some fear internal tensions are on the verge of reaching a tipping point that could lead to violent conflict. We got a preview in January 2021; I was still living in the UK at the time and remember my shock upon learning of the anti-democratic violence, something I never imagined witnessing in my lifetime.

In my view, our disagreements can be productive and may actually make our country greater than it could ever be if we all agreed. The key is to not turn disagreements about ideas into hatred of people, something I believe folks on both sides of the political divide engage in on a regular basis. Protecting democracy and civil society is not something a single political party is capable of doing, it’s something we all have to do together.

Coming together is not about persuading others that I’m right and they’re wrong, but recognizing our shared humanity and coexistence on Spaceship Earth. It’s immensely refreshing to meet people who I disagree with and enjoy our time together none the less, because we are much more than our differences.

The nature of a cruise includes a lot of intermingling, from shared tables at meals to chance encounters on deck and pre-entertainment chit chat. I live in an apartment complex of similar size to the ship I’m on, but I hardly know my neighbors beyond hallway encounters. An FBI agent doing a background check on one of my colleagues once told me it’s a lot harder to do background checks these days because you used to be able to learn a lot about someone by talking with their neighbors.

I don’t think it’s so much geography that isolate us in America, but our contemporary culture itself that leads to isolation and ideological echo chambers. Not everyone can afford to go on a cruise, but I believe there are other ways to create a cultural shift similar to what I’ve now seen manifest twice aboard these ships. We just need to come face to face with those we disagree with, then it becomes easier. In Washington state for example, instead of yelling at each other across the cascades, we could go over the mountains and through the woods on our next holiday to take time and visit public places, making an effort to talk with strangers whether at coffee shops, gigs or in the park.

One of my other favorite things about cruises and travel in general, is talking to new people and hearing their stories. Rather than splurge on shore excursions, I look up coffee shops and bookshops in the various places I go. I’m not a very outgoing person, but I push myself to connect - because it almost always pays off.